Cancer. That word. It was hard to own the concrete fact that I have cancer, even hard to say. Cancer has altered my life but also the way I want to live. My journey began with a lump, to diagnosis, to fear, to dealing with mortality and the seriousness, to acceptance, to letting go, to a seven hour surgery, and now living with the consequence of all of it. My voice is softer, my eye looks tired and the nerves in my neck are reaching for something to grasp. These things however compel me to surrender; to detach from worry, to let go of body and live by mind and spirit.
Voice. The gift of voice is only a gift if someone is willing to listen. I have no desire to raise my voice. Whispers can be more effective in any home or classroom than an abrasive yell. We all need to listen better. To truly listen to someone, is more than simply avoiding the habit of interrupting. LISTEN contains the same letters as SILENT. The way we fail to listen is symbol of the way we live. To become a better listener is to become a more peaceful, patient person.
Future. What good is life without a dream? I urge you to challenge your existence. Why do you live? Nelson, B.C. delivers our dream. Nestled in the heart of the Kootenay Mountains, on the shores of Kootenay Lake our children run barefoot in the back yard, and swing from trees. Our home, essence of earth, smells like homemade soup. This is a place, where a goal to live with earth, not on it, can be attained. We want to be “a part”, never “apart. Here we are free: we are organic.
It is easy to think we have it all figured out; it’s easy to curl up in a shell of comfort. I don’t want to settle: I don’t want to live in fear. I want to surrender. We tend to sweat the small stuff in attempts to control. But, what if we were brave enough to fully let go? I want to leave thoughts alone, and welcome the destination without doubt. I will embrace alternative medicine, healers, and energy workers. I have so much to learn, and I am open. I will make peace with imperfection, let others have the glory, resist the urge to criticize, love what I already have instead of always wanting, never take Phay for granted, surrender to the fact that there is always something to do, temper my plans, say I’m sorry, and I will most definitely, treasure the journey.
